by John Jordan

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Recorded & mixed by John Jordan at Osmosis HQ


released February 3, 2019

All vocals and instruments by John Jordan


all rights reserved



Osmosis Unlimited Montreal, Québec

Saxophonist singer John Jordan and a collection of Montreal's finest musicians produce original music in ska, reggae, rock, soul, and a host of other genres.

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Track Name: Resolution

They said in 2000
All computers would fail
It was pretty arousin’
But it was just a tale
They said 2012
Would bring armageddon
Did the plans just get shelved
Or am I now deadened
In 2018
We learned it’s all fake
Nothing on our screens
Will make us awake
Now it is ending
A new year has come
I’ll still be spending
All my income

My resolution
Is not to give up
The only solution
Is not to burn up
Let me be confucian
And look to the future
Bring the revolution
I’ll blow the Buescher
My resolution
Is to eat the rich
There’s no substitution
For flipping the switch
In my destitution
I’m hatching a plan
For a revolution
To save every man

The trouble with Batman and Iron Man
Is they’re rich billionaires
That use violence when they can
Just end the nightmare
By sharing the money
That they’ve been hoarding
You think this is funny
The power they’re lording
Instead of a beating
On some wanting soul
They could be treating
The starving to a bowl
The problem it is not
The thief who is stealing
It’s those who have bought
What the devil is dealing

The greatest con the greatest scam
That money is the measure of man
That those with hands upon the faucet
Will only open it for profit
That only greed can fuel our engine
We’re not feeling we’re not thinking
Do what’s right because it’s right
Not only if it grows your might
Stop this consumerist blindness
Let us be driven by only kindness
Feather our own nests much less
And take care of all the rest
Spock said it it must be true
Needs of the many outweigh the few
Stop your crying stop you sulking
Listen to your sacred Vulcan
Track Name: Evergreen

Evergreen Society
Gets you where you want to be
Evergreen in Kitsalano
Family-run just gotta follow
Evergreen Society
Cleanest buds in all BC
Evergreen Vancouver
Health and well-being improver

Whether it’s herbs or CBD oil
No matter what you need
We’re Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s
Sherlock Holmes of weed
From clean water and pure soil
None the richer, none the wiser
Behind our counter we do toil
With rolling papers and vaporizers

Entering a brand new era
Come on ride with us
Brighter days on the horizon
Let’s all get on the bus
Now it ends this prohibition
Now begins the dawn
The cancer has gone into remission
And we will go on and on
Track Name: The Hell in Helen
She only calls me when she's drunk
I only call her when I'm horny
Who'd a thunk who'd a thunk
Our relationship would be so thorny
She only calls me when she's lit
I only call her when I'm feelin' it
We can't stand each other I'm telling you brother
That's why we never see each other

One drink, two drinks, three drinks, four
Can't even set one foot out the door
She's a stumbling drunk ass bitch
But sometimes I just get an itch
Nostalgia for days long gone
When we sang a sweeter song
When one hand washed the other
Single man and single mother

But since her child went away
She's been drinking every day
I feel for her I do feel sad
That she's always feeling bad
Tried to help but she's a bottomless pit
And I let her get away with it
Try to lift her up when she feels down
But can't stand having her around

Eating garbage staying out late
I would not want to have her fate
As youth's blossoms fall away
Both of us just wither away
Two lost souls wandering the plains
On separate tracks our separate trains
When she calls I see her number
My heart becomes a little number

I know that if I take the call
My mood will surely take a fall
But I can't seem to give up completely
Even though I don't want her to see me
So I just listen, lend an ear
Listen to her doom and drear
And offer soothing words of comfort
But by her I will no longer be hurt

Yes I know she has nothing to offer
But I am not going to write off her
There's always hope she'll find the light
And make it safe out of the night
So I grit my teeth and hear her
Trying so hard not to fear her
I'm not buying what she's sellin'
She really puts the Hell in Helen
Track Name: The 'Scrip
The Scrip’

So many drugs
In my system
There’s no drug
I am missing
I got all
The right prescriptions
Take em all
According to directions
So many drugs
All up in me
If you got a bug
Just pop a drug see
So many drugs
So little time
You got yours
And I got mine

So many drugs
Running through my veins
All try to keep me
From going insane
So many drugs
I gotta swallow
So many directions
I gotta follow
So many drugs
Such variety
I take them all
With impropriety
So many drugs
Have we gone mad
What about reality’s
So bad

Nicotine first order of business
First thing every day I put in this
Each cigarette is fifteen minutes
Off the end of the time you will put in it
But at the end those are the days
That are the worst ones anyways
I don’t care what anyone says
Nicotine activates

What’s a smoke without a coffee
When my pot is full things just slide off me
I can handle whatever be
WIth a hot cup next to me
Caffeine you’re my Batarang
Not enough songs about you been sang
Throughout the land your legend rang
You’re badder than the Wu Tang Clan

Sometimes the best things come in bottles
Moosehead lager revs my throttles
I swear to you the brews I got’ll
Make you think you’re Aristotle
Bubbly brew, effervescent mead
Do your little dirty deed
Give me the confidence I need
But wait I still gotta get to weed

Cannabis oh THC
Get yourself inside of me
Help me write a killer riff
Kiss me fool you silly spliff
Nothing else makes me say, “Yay”
And crank the bass on the reggae
Sing a song in the early morn
But wait until I blow my horn

Lastly there’s the ones assigned
To level out my manic mind
Lithium and risperdal
Every day I take it all
Saves me from being a helpless slave
Helps me always to behave
No slave to joy or sadness neither
In them I am a true believer
Track Name: Ivy From The Future
Ivy From The Future

She’s 13 hours ahead of me
Clocking her time in the Philippines
I think she just might be chaotic neutral
Sweet little Ivy from the future

For me it’s early for her it’s late
But intertwined are our fates
My early morning’s her afternoon
Ivy’s just like a real cartoon

She’s cute and adorable
Nothing about her is horrible
Her to me I would love to suture
Sweet little Ivy from the future

My evenings are her next mornings
Our conversations are never boring
We say it all by saying nothing
Never stressing, never rushing

I must send her some pesetas
Cause she doesn’t got no data
I can’t send her no pics of Humbert
Even though she sent me her number

Ivy, please try me,
Please do not deny me
Oh Ivy, oh Ivy
Your beauty paralyze me
Ivy, say Ivy,
I hope one day you’ll spy me
Coming through the airport
With my suitcase behind me

One day I will fly across the sea
And visit sweet little Ivy
I want to be a worthy suitor
For sweet little Ivy from the future
Track Name: She's Heavy
She’s Heavy

Heavy you’re as light as air
You weigh next to nothing
Oh Heavy how for you I care
I promise I’m not bluffing
Heavy you’re a lump of joy
Sitting in my lap
You’re a girl you’re not a boy
My heart you have trapped

I look into your little eyes
And happiness looks back
You’re my treasure you’re my prize
And nothing will you lack
I will give you everything
On a silver platter
I will make up songs to sing
About how you’re all that matters

All my life you were just a dream
Then one day you came true
And now it really seems to me
That all that matters is you
Heavy you’re my moon and stars
Heavy you’re my Heaven
Whether you’re near or you’re far
You’re my lucky seven

I will always hold you close
Whether you’re near or far
You’ll always be the one I chose
No matter where you are
I will feed you and give you clothes
And hold you when you cry, see
No one loves you more than I
Your little mama Ivy

Heavy baby, Heavy honey
We’ll always be together
We may not have all the money
But together we will weather
All the sun and all the storms
All that fate will send us
Nothing can ever tear us apart
Nothing can ever end us
Track Name: Neighbours Doing Good (NDG)
NDG: Neighbours Doing Good

Neighbours doing good
In the neighbourhood
Smiling at each other in the streets
Nerighbours helping out
Is there any doubt
That that is what we need
Neighbours doing good
That’s NDG
That is what it stands for
Neighbours doing good
In the neighbourhood
That is what we plan for

Do your best on Sherbrooke West
Be a champ on Monkland
Say hello on Cote-St-Antoine
And bring your dog to Girouard
Shop organic at the Co-op
Stock up at Le Depot
Let Niki at Cosmos fill you up
While you hang with all the people

Neighbours doing good
That’s NDG
That is what it stands for
Neighbours doing good
In the neighbourhood
That is what we plan for
Neighbours doing good
In the neighbourhood
Smiling at each other in the streets
Nerighbours helping out
Is there any doubt
That that is what we need

Marvel at Our Lady of Grace
The mural by the depanneur
A stop at the Alley Cat Gallery
Is certainly de rigeur
Skate the rinks at LCC
Or in one of the parks
You don’t need to worry about being safe
When walking home after dark

Little kids and dogs on leashes
Running in the streets
You know that every one and each is
Just so dear to me
This my home I love it here
It’s the best neighbourhood
Because the people really care
About doing each other some good

Neighbours doing good
In the neighbourhood
Smiling at each other in the streets
Nerighbours helping out
Is there any doubt
That that is what we need
Neighbours doing good
That’s NDG
That is what it stands for
Neighbours doing good
In the neighbourhood
That is what we plan for
Track Name: Cool Ska Girlfriend
Cool Ska Girlfriend
I’m looking for you
Cool Ska Girlfriend
Those things that you do
Cool Ska Girlfriend
Who won’t break the bank
Cool Ska Girlfriend
Who loves to skank

Cool Ska Girlfriend you are my number one
Cool Ska Girlfriend you are just so much fun
Cool Ska Girlfriend do whatever you please
Cool Ska Girlfriend just do it with me

Cool Ska Girlfriend
With your skirt and your boots
Cool Ska Girlfriend
Let me take off my suit
Cool Ska Girlfriend
I can’t take any more
I wanna see all our clothes
On the floor

Cool Ska Girlfriend tell me that you exist
Cool Ska Girlfriend you I cannot resist
Cool Ska Girlfriend where you been all my life?
Cool Ska Girlfriend be my Cool Ska Wife?

All my life I’ve been searching for
A queen who can rule on the dance floor
I started at the start and will go to the end
I’ll do anything to find my Cool Ska Girlfriend
I know she is out there, I know she is fire
You may not believe me but I ain’t no liar
She’s gotta be ska and she’s gotta be cool
Maybe I just gotta go back to high school
Track Name: Baby I Miss You
Baby I miss you
I miss you so much
Baby I miss you
I so miss your touch
Baby I’m trying
To wait for our time
Baby I’m dying
When will you be mine

Baby I miss you when are you getting here?
Baby I miss you, baby I miss you dear
Baby you’re so far ahead of your time
Baby please wait for me and we will be fine
Baby your absence
Is so upsetting
It doesn’t make sense
What am I not getting
You are the one
The one I am choosing
When you’re not around
I feel like I’m losing

Baby I’m trying
To wait for our time
Baby I’m dying
When will you be mine
Baby I miss you
I miss you so much
Baby I miss you
I so miss your touch

Baby I miss you it’s you that I miss
Baby I miss you I’m missing your kiss
Baby you got to get into my orbit
Baby you got to, baby I implore it
All of my life
For you I have waited
Will you be the wife
I’ve anticipated
United we stand
Divided we fall
Baby I miss you
You are my all

Because of Osmosis
I don’t even try
You’re my psychosis
The answer to why
I am so crazy
Crazy about you
Come on let’s be hasty
Let’s do what we do

We got the time
And we got the power
Let’s bring the light
To brighten our hours
All of the night time
And all of the days
Right now is the right time
To go our own way

Baby I miss you
I miss you so much
Baby I miss you
I so miss your touch
Baby I’m trying
To wait for our time
Baby I’m dying
When will you be mine
Track Name: Cookie Monster
Preheat the oven to 245

Make that cannabis come alive

About 25 minutes should do it

Then the butter you add to it

Heat on low for at least 3 hours

Stir it as often as you have the power

Strain it and put it in the refrigerator

So it will be ready when you need it later

Captain Cannabis Cookie Monster

Just one cookie and I'm a goner

Get in my belly and get in my gut

You're the best snacktime pick me up

Cookie monster cookie fiend

I ain't crabby I ain't mean

Take my cookies with a glass of milk

Turning a sow's ear into silk

Brown and white sugar come together

Mix with your butter it gets better

Egg and vanilla go in next

I tell you this is better than sex

Flour salt and baking soda

Oh my my here comes the coda

Add your chocolate chips right in it

Bake that shit for 25 minutes

Cookie monster, monster high

Cookie monster, I'm that guy

Don't be frightened don't be scared

Just try this cookie I've prepared

Set aside the next few hours

To feel my cookie monster powers

You'll soar high you won't come down

Until tomorrow comes around
Track Name: Walk Like A Refugee
Walk Like a Refugee
Walk for your life
Leave behind your enemy
Walk away from strife
Walk like a refugee
Like your life’s in the balance
Walk until you can see
The dream you have been challenged

Be they foreign bombs falling around
Making life unsafe and unsound
When there is not enough food to eat
When you risk your life walking the streets
When your children must grow up in fear
Of all the dangers present here
Perhaps now has come the day
When you must decide to walk away

Across the land, across the sea
Nothing is too far to be free
No road too long no ocean too wide
To stop your freedom-seeking tide
We wait for you here in the West
Where many know not how they’re blessed
With relative peace and opportunity
My arms are open, come live with me

I know the journey is so long
Listen to me, hear my song
In my land we are awaiting
We have the society you’re anticipating
We have the land and we have the will
We need your heart we need your skill
Come live with us and stay a while
Be safe, be welcome, we want your smile

O Canada! Your home and native land!
True human love in all our souls’ command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
Our friends from far off shores!
From far and wide, O Canada,
Immigration brings us more.
Love keeps our land, glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee;
O Refugees, we stand on guard for thee